libraofthestars

libraofthestars @ 2006-10-31T21:01:00

2006-11-01T02:01:53Z

I think I speak for the majority of those playing FFXII:

MARQUIS IS PRONOUNCED MAR-KEY !!!!NOT!!!! MAR-KWISS

GAAAAAHHHH!!!!! When will it stop!

libraofthestars @ 2006-10-29T17:40:00

2006-10-29T22:44:31Z

well

2006-10-18T23:15:56Z

For those keeping up with me I'm sorry I haven't posted in ages

I was involuntarily commited to a mental institution before I could go voluntarily.

...I'm embarassed to say... but I attempted suicide. Yes, I flatlined, and yes, I'm ok now.

To cope with my problems I have begun to write a screenplay about my life. It will help me figure out how things have gotten this far out of hand. =\

I'll be strong.

I love all of you so much.

libraofthestars @ 2006-09-02T07:57:00

2006-09-02T12:33:09Z

I write this for myself. I spend so little time near the computer these days. I just tend to draw endlessly. I will have a lot of submissions for the new curator.

Last night... I did something bad again.

I got into a fight with John. I was completely out of control.

I asked mom if there was one event that I would have thought of as horrific from my childhood. Something that would scar me for an eternity. Something a child would not be able to handle. She said that there was one time my father got in a fight with my mother and left. He drove across our lawn tearing up the grass and I chased after him screaming, "What about me, Daddy!"

I don't think that's what I was looking for. I asked her if there was anything else... a little bit more violent. Abuse wise, she was unaware of anything that went over the top of his typical beatings. I wasn't really satisfied. I've come to grips with the fact that my father beat me. He loved us dearly, but he was just a little sick. With counceling there was hope for finding a wonderful man. I do love my father, even though I have never seen or heard from my father since I was 7. He did however treat me like a princess when he was in his right mind. So, I don't think it was my father's abuse that triggered all my pain. I think for the most part I have gotten over that. So anything else that went above and beyond Dixon's rage?

Mom... hmmmm....not tthat I can think of. I remember a LOT of my early childhood. MY therapist was alarmed at how much I remember. Which is an indicator that something happened to cause me to never forget it. So... when did I first feel that uncontrolable anger that I sometimes feel? 2nd grade... I threatened to skin my classmates alive... ok where the FUCK does a 5-year-old hear something like that?!?!? Hmmm... i dunno. Think deeper when else did you feel that anger? Well... something like it... It was more anger at my hopelessness. It was also my first black-out. 2 or 3-years-old. .. I nearly cut my toe off. I blacked out and I remember that my mother told me I was so uncontrolably angry I was lashing out at the doctors. They had to strap me down to put in the stitches. Hm.... not horrific enough. Any other time you felt anger?

Anger... almost fear... there IS something I can remember. But I don't know if it has to do with anything. My grandmother made us take naps when we werent even tired. We HAD to sleep with her. She'd get naked, and it was gross. She had all these moles and was fat. She kept saying if we didn't behave then we'd have to take our nap with grandpa.

Thats when I felt so scared... almost angry.

I get close to vomiting when I talk about it. I've been moping around for days since it was brought up. I think maybe that was it.

I asked mom one more time, anything else where I was beat up or heard something really bad?

Oh....wait a minute... Dixon's parents would babysit you. Sometimes you'd come back and have bruises on your thighs.

I wanted to vomit.
I wanted to hit something.
I was shaking all over.
I felt helpless.
I felt destructive.
I would have a headache.

I was catatonic for nearly a day.

So I found my problem... I think. Problem is... I don't remember how I got those bruises. I don't remember what my punishment was when I slept with my grandfather.

I remember always being TERRIFIED of him.I would run away from him whenever he would come out.

I am a little scared. I try to remember why and I cant. Its like Ive blocekd it from my memory.

I am scared of what I will find. Here's a little TMI for you... I am afraid that there was something sexual involved. Mom, said she too felt that way... what really has me scared is that when I lost my virginity I didn't bleed. I didn't play any vigorous sports either. I played volleyball... but we were so stationary and the game was never intense. So I should have bled. But I didn't.

Right now I'm playing put the puzzle togehter. I seem to be regressing more. Being more angry, mor sad. that might be a good thing. It means I'm on the right track.

I am however, irrationally afraid of the bedroom. I slept amazing for the first time in ages when I slept on the futon in the den. Maybe some connection? I want my sleeping pill perscription changed. The Restora doesn't do jack shit. The Soma was better.

I sort of fear writing this online... but somehow by typing thoughts where people can read them it makes them concrete... it keeps me from denying it happened. It's embarassing, but it is also helpful.

libraofthestars @ 2006-08-31T12:38:00

2006-08-31T16:58:59Z

Everything keeps getting worse and worse and worse!

I am so fucking angry!

So, I had checked myself in to recieving treatment at the Charles County Department of Health and Mental Hygeine. So, I'm not commited or anything, but I have weekly therapy visits and a doc and all that good shit. I started going recently about... 3weeks ago. I was so depressed and such. Life wasn't so good. So the Phil thing happened... they think I'm sad because of him. I move out of the house... things still are bad.

Then out of the blue I don't remember one of my therapy sessions, and they're like come back in! I HAVE to see you a second time this week. I'm like, "Uhh... why?"

My therapist let me know that she talked with her superviser, and they think that I have D.I.D (Disocciative Identity Disorder) with a case of post traumatic stress disorder. Well, Doc, What the fuck does that mean?

Well... in a nut shell... somehting so traumatic and horrifying happened to me and I didn't know how to deal with my feelings of pain, hurt and fear so I have created another identity to deal with it. On top of things, my insomnia is a result of the PTSD. I am too afraid to sleep so that it is next to impossible to sleep or stay asleep. When I do sleep it is always shallow enough to wake up to the slightest sound. Hoorah, huh?

Yes, I feel pain. I always feel pain, and for reasons I know not. Often I feel like just crying or I cowar at a situation. I horrified to do somehing wrong.... it's really hard to go on with life. Now, I need a more 'rigorous' treatment. More medicine, more intense sleep aids, more therapy... and a mapping of my identities.

Ok... I have multiple identities? What's their names buddy? I don't know anything. They keep asking me that when I am not Ann, what do I feel?

Well, I don't know.... I just remember being angry, but I don't remember what we talked about last session.

She wants to talk to my other identity again, but I don' tknow how to cue a change. I just remember being angry. I want to cry. My whole life seems to be falling apart. I don't want to be crazy.

I believe her though. I have several gaps in my memory.

Its horrible... all the medications, all the therapy sessions, all the sadness has me just blocking everything out. I feel so catatonic these days. I'm missing myself more and more. It seems like I'm regressing into a dark hole that's warm. What about those I am letting down?

I haven't been doing my work. i haven't been cleaning. I havent been checing my mail. I've been skipping work. Who knows when the last time I touched RPGamer was. I tried to do a post... I couldn't get a proof two different times I tried... I gave up.

I've been giving up a lot.

I'm going to quit RPGamer... I love it so much. I love the people, the environment, and the work. The art and Kashu Arashi's submissions would make my day... and Staci/Nadia... and Lackshamana... and Connor Quigley... and Doc... damn, I love them all. RPGamer is blessed wit some wonderful submitters.

My grammar has been on a decline.
It is sad.

I want ed to experience OmniArt... but I am so sick now.

My therapist said that when we get to the root of the problem and find out what happened to me to cause this there is going to be a lot more pain... I imagine it smething like getting a filling for a tooth that really hurts. It's just going to hurt more when we uncover the problem.

Because I have to go back in and deal with the pain in a healthier way. I have no idea what happened to me that was so traumatic.

but there is a good lickelyhood that I have blocked it out of my memory. Certainly the key to answering this question lies somewhere in that angry person inside me, but how do we talk to her? how do we single her out for a day?

I don't want to though... I'm afraid of all that angry. It sometimes feel slike there is a monster inside me clawing to get out. I get these intense headaches... then I go catatonic.

It's bizarre

I have let so many people down.

I hate myself for it.

I want no sympathy.

libraofthestars @ 2006-08-23T21:40:00

2006-08-24T01:46:34Z

What few know is that I am an insomniac. Not a person who stays up late and sleeps all day and is convinced they are an insomniac because they stay up all night.... those people annoy me. No, I am a true insomniac. Sleeping is a chore for me. God, I love sleep. I really do, and I'm always sleepy... but I just can't ever get to sleep... or stay asleep. I'd take an assortment of OTC sleeping pills to help out... meh, no luck. So I have been seeing a doctor about it finally. At first I just had counceling... no help. Then muscle relaxers... felt really night and mellow... it really helped me to fall asleep.... but 15 minutes later I'd be up again.... and then down then up then down.... the usual. So we had my prescription changed. The doc could hardly believe me because she's always had good luck with the Soma. So she gave me the max dosage of temazepam. Its not working either. It took me 3 hours to get to sleep last night, and I was up and down all night long. XO For fuck's sake!

'what does a girl have to do for a little beauty rest???

libraofthestars @ 2006-08-19T10:22:00

2006-08-19T14:28:59Z

Waaaah, school starts in a week, and I'm losing my head like Jenova.... only my son isn't carrying it around for me.... I'm just kinda like.... tumbling around.... like a tumble week.... or weed.

Hmmm.... in a moment of awesome......

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIITHOS

LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSEC

You know the rest.

*kisses Star Ocean III goodbye* I'll get around to beating you on Thankgiving break. I love you Cliff!

Ahhhh, next year's omniart is going to start early so that we can have a Valentine's competition.... The theme: "Draw me a picture discussing why everyone thinks Cliff is so sexy~!"

Of course Cliff can easily be substituted with Auron.... Even if I were a man, I'd so take it in the ass to get some Auron lovin! XD

Definitely a boycrazy day!

Oh, and don't get me started on my H. Lexxy from Oblivion. Helllooooooooo Captain! I love RPGs because RPGs supply the world with endless supply of uber sexy men! Oh, and hours of gameplay.

Errrr.... Long Liver Edrick~!

libraofthestars @ 2006-08-14T09:44:00

2006-08-14T13:45:45Z

Um.... what? This looks like some sort of monster from Dragon Warrior/Quest

libraofthestars @ 2006-08-14T09:07:00

2006-08-14T13:23:10Z

I am so scared. I really am. Phil's going to kill me one of these days if I don't get out of here soon. But I am in college, I can't work to put myself through college and get through college. I know lots of people do it, and they would call me weak. There are two reasons I can't.
1.) My grades went from As to Cs when I worked full time.
2.) I'll be damned if I give up this opportunity for a normal life.
I have had to deal with a father who beats me, a mother that ignores me and now a step father that threatens to kill me. I have always been afraid to bring any friends over to the house. (Granted my mother's hick duck prints were also the cause too).

Now I feel like shit. I had responsibilities last night! I had lots of things I had to complete. Well, I sent out a few messages so hopefully everyone heard the story.

So what happened? Well, at the dinner table my step-father attacked me. He threatened me with a fork.(Yea, I know it sounds stupid, but imagine it two inches from your eye.) He was spitting off what he was going to do to me like 'shoving a fork up my ass' and 'beating me *insert multiple child-like profanities.*' Sure this isn't the first time he's attacked me. Hell, he's hit me before. But it's the first time he's ever said something about 'killing.'

I told my mom I was going to call the police. She was like, "Don't you dare call the police." all up at me. Oh, I didn't call the police.

I went to the police. However, since he didn't touch me the only thing they can do is.... not much. I'm thinking about going to W.I.C today, or D.C.S.S. I am so tired of getting myself reduced to a nothing for no reason at all. Why the fuck do you think I am on meds? Why am I depressed? Because I have to deal with his shit! Thank god I am on some sort of medicaiton, because I know I would have shot myself last night if I didn't have my moods balanced! I really hate life. I hate the situation I am in. Like, I thought this would end. I thought I'd get some peace. I'm not getting that til I can move out. However, I can't move out.

Come on, Toshi!

2006-08-09T19:28:06Z

Just.... watch it.... wow....

My veggie art!!!

2006-08-09T18:55:54Z

Maybe I should start posting some of my drawings....

More Boredest

2006-08-06T15:40:04Z

Let the Randomness Begin!!

The Normal "All About Me" Section.
What's your name?	Ann
How old are you?	19
What grade are you in?	Sophomore
Okay.....That's Enough. This or That? (Random)
M&M's or Skittles?	M&Ms
Food or drink?	Drink
WalMart or KMart?	Walmart!!
6 or 7?	7
Cats or dogs?	Ferrets
Horses or cows?	Horses
Chickens or pigs?	Both
Sweet or sour?	Soour
Walk or run?	Run
Hike or bike?	Hike
Car or truck?	Car
Summer or winter?	Winter!!!!!!!!
Spring or fall?	Fall
Up or down?	Up
Tall or short?	Short
King or queen?	Queen
Diamonds or spades?	Diamonds
Clubs or hearts?	Clubs
Would You Rather......
go sky diving or bungee jumping?	Sky dive
work fastfood or waiting tables?	Neither
ask someone out or get asked out?	Get asked
skateboard or roller blade?	In-line
drink coffee or juice?	Coffee(Hmm, now what did Terrant say? Haha)
eat a worm or lose a friend?	Lose a friend cause I don\'t have any.
go on Fear Factor or date that geek in science class?	Geeks are HAWT
fracture your skull or fracture your spine?	Skull
break your arm or break your leg?	Leg
wear glasses or get braces?	Glasses(Fuck braces! Even if I needed them I\'d never wear them. Thank god I was blessed with perfectly alined teeht)
stay up late or get up early?	Both
do push-up or do sit-ups?	Sit-ups. I\'m a sit-up addict. I got these super toned obliques but since I don\'t diet Im pudgy and my muscles look more like fat rolls ahahah
If you had to have one for the rest of your life, what.........
class would you take?	English
food would you eat?	Bulgogi
show would you watch?	Escaflowne
car would you drive?	Saturn Ion
band would you listen to?	Johnny CAsh
would you wear?	Fuck that! I have a full woredrobe or I shoot myself
game would you play?	Final Fantasy VI over and over and over again.... Wait.... maybe Oblivion.
book would you read?	The Dark Tower
Do You.....
have a b/f or g/f?	No
have a best friend?	Sorta not
have a dishwasher?	yes
have a tv in your room?	yes
have your own computer?	yes
like coffee?	yes
like sardines?	Sometimes
like sushi?	It\'s ok.
have siblings?	Yes
wish you could be somewhere else?	Sure
miss someone right now?	Not really
Who Was the Last Person You.....
talked to?	John
saw?	John
told a secret to?	Mega
laughed with?	John
cried with?	John
ate with?	My family
kissed?	John
hugged?	John
cried FOR?	Umm.... Meeko?
missed?	Meeko
called?	Mom
prayed for?	I don\'t pray
When Was the Last Time You.....
went to Church?	1 1/2 years ago
sang in front of a crowd?	I don\'t
PERFORMED for a crowd?	Sophomore year in highschool
read a book?	Hmmm... (Well, Angel is reading one right now. ^.^)
heard the song "I Love Rock and Roll"?	Eeeeeeww, last week
had a phone convorsation?	I don\'t do that whole phone thing
went for a walk?	Last week
RANDOM!!!
How did you find out about this survey?	Eli-oto
What's your favorite color?	Brown
What do you think when you first wake up?	About my dream
When do you usually go to bed?	It varies
Have you ever died you hair?	Ugh... YES
Can you spell ghetto-fabulous?	Yes
Would you dance if I asked you to dance?	Dude, I don\'t even know your name Mr.I-wrote-a-pointless-thingy
How often do you smile?	Ocaisionally
Can you spell antidisestablishmentarianism?	Yes
Are you sappy during chick flicks?	A few like \"Gone with the WInd\"
Do you even WATCH chick flicks?	Ye
Do YOU know the muffin man??	Not personally
Do you like Disney movies?	Some
How old will you be a year from now?	20
Can you say the alphabet backwords?	No
Railroad crossing car coming by....can you spell it without any R's??	What the fuck???
Who sings your favorite song?	VnV Nation
What IS your favorite song?	Airships
Is the glass half empty or half full?	Empty
When was the last time you showered?	Last night
Did you have fun with this survey?	Sorta
Tell us YOUR answers to this survey! Click HERE!
Created by , taken 735 times. Created at Kwiz.biz - Kwizzes, Polls and Surveys!

libraofthestars @ 2006-08-05T15:24:00

2006-08-05T19:26:12Z

I got bored and made this crappy photo edit. It's hard to get a crisp line with only a damn mouse. Whys everything in my house gotta break?

Oooooooh, Batman, I'm coming to getcha~!

libraofthestars @ 2006-08-03T22:11:00

2006-08-04T02:25:44Z

I love those special days~!

Itenerary for tomorrow!

8:30am - Wake Up Ya Bitches!

10am - Doc's Visit

12pm - Get home, eat, and Shower

1-3pm - Straiten my hair... yes it takes that long.

4pm - Exit the house

5pm - Eat at Cho's Garden!!!!!

7pm - Finally get out of Cho's Garden

8pm - Play at Wolftrap BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so psyched. Not only am I eating at the most awesome restaurant ever, but I get to hear some sweet muzak!

Now you may ask, "What is so cool about Cho's?"

Umm.... everything! It's this great Korean b-b-q place that has the best sushi around. Now what is better than snacking on unagi rolls annd pickled radish while watching your bulgolgi and gal bi fry right on your very own b-b-q pit at your table?? Um.... NOTHING! Haha, not to mention they have barley tea. Yum yum and if you need a jolt there's the ginseng tea too!! Oh god the yumminess! I'm starting to drool. It's right near Lotte... my most favorite grocery store in the world~! It's over in Fairfax so its on the way to....

Wolftrap! Woohoo!! That's right, I'm going to see the most awesomeness! Chyeah! I'm psyched.... ruuuurlly psyched bitchs! And sue me if I'm geeky! You can kiss my left ass-cheek! Wow, I'm profane tonight!

libraofthestars @ 2006-08-02T12:40:00

2006-08-02T16:57:43Z

Alright, I'm dropping into my house for a moment, so I'll update you all.

I ~thought~ my A/C was going to be fixed this past Saturday. Buuut.... no. Turns out that my last A.C was installed incorrectly which explains why the A.C didn't cool the house off that well. The bad news is they had to re-'plumb' all the whatever stuff that hooks the A.C from the outside to the inside. Which when only one man wokring on it takes several days. I was told it is close to being done.

*shrugs* Who knows really. It has me irritated. I've been pretty much living out in the sticks of Southern Maryland this whole time, so I haven't been ablke to do my RPGamer work. I am such a slacker! Gaaaaaah! Oh well I droped into the home place today to see how progress is going. I expected the AC to be fixed by now. oh well. So i was lkike... it's hot as balls but I am seriously behind on fanart so I don't care. I open the file I have been working on for about 2 weeks maybe 3 now. Mind you I had heat exhaustion the whole time working on it... I would type four words and be like "What am I doing? Huh... what was the last thing I typed?" Then I'd give up. I rememeber I was so clsoe to being done so I figured hey, I got five minutes I can do a post now and I can do another in two dayts when the A/C is fixed to make up for all the missed out fanart. (Which is what I had planne don doing a month ago, but I didn't expect a heat wave to give me a heat stroke)So anyways, I opent he file, half the words are mispelled, and I had only added two submisisons to the HTML... but when I looked on my word file where I keep all the important informations.... I had deleted all the submissions except for one... so I ~thought~ I had put in 5 submissions' info into the HTML... Like I was reallty convinced of it. So now I have to go into the FTP and figure out what I did... or didn't upload because I have no links to account for the submisisons I thought I uploaded. What a mess. I am glad that I dind't go through with anymore work tho... I could have really fouled things up if I was making big mistakes like that wiuthout knowing, God, I can't even type right in this heat.

And what bad timing too! Right before audits! >.< Why couldn't my A/C die a month later so I could get my quota points!! *pouts* Oh well, I sense a warning coming my way. =P It's yako.

Hahaha, yako. Do you guys remember that shit?> Yako yako yako yako! I was surriously so tired I spelled okay backwards. Granted being dyslexic has something to do with that too. Yako is soooo much cooled that okay.

Well, I am returning to the in-laws house. I'm working on a sweet Oblivion fanart peice. *sigh* I think I'm the only person who is smitten with Hieronymus Lex. So being the girly girl I am Im making a cute drawing of two enemies snuggling because thats what smitten girls do best!

libraofthestars @ 2006-07-20T15:43:00

2006-07-20T19:44:26Z

After a recent heat injury, we have decided to relocate to John's parent's house.
I won't have the internet while staying there, so bare with me.
I'll return when the A/C is repaired.

W

libraofthestars @ 2006-07-16T19:01:00

2006-07-16T23:10:44Z

Myspace can suck my titties! No one leaves me any comments on there anymore =(.

On another note, John and I went to Ocean City for a day to escape the heat. The water was icey cold, and it felt orgasmic to be cold again! The shops there have some cute clothes(and some really REALLY skanky clothes). Well, we found a shirt that we have been looking for for a while. We had envisioned a slightly revealing, black shirt with some sort of gold trimming. We found it and it makes me look like I spent about $10,ooo on a boobie job! =)

I dunno where I'm going to where it. I guess plays, concerts and such. Not something you wear in front of the in-laws!

libraofthestars @ 2006-07-15T13:35:00

2006-07-15T17:35:32Z

Even worse.....

<td align="center"> Ann --
[adjective]:

Like in nature to a banana peel

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

libraofthestars @ 2006-07-15T13:31:00

2006-07-15T17:31:41Z

Uh-huh.......?????? Why do I get this lameness? <td align="center"> Libraofthestars --
[noun]:

A person who is constantly high

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

libraofthestars @ 2006-07-15T13:05:00

2006-07-15T17:09:14Z

XXXero and I are going to make videotapes, and with our billions we're going to buy RPGamer. And I, LibraoftheAwesome, will be everyone's boss!!!!

Mwaahahahah! Then RPGamer will have enough money to offer free food at meetings. Isn't that something?

Oh, and our dragon.... yes, definitely getting pink bunny ears and a fairy friend. Change the color scheme to pinks and purples and put a happy sunshine in the corner.

Sound good? Sound professional enough. And at the bottom it will say "Powered by: XXXero" to give homage to the man who assisted me in my conquest. =)

My vision:

I got FF love, but.... what??

2006-07-10T21:08:21Z

Uh-huh

The A/C of doom

2006-07-10T17:07:30Z

So, my A/C was supposed to be fixed this past weekend. It wasn't.
I can't believe I put faith in that no good husband of my mother! He doesn't want to fix it at all. You know what he said?

"How many more days of summer are there really?"

Ummm....I live in Maryland you doofus! It's hot up until mid-October.

Did I mention how in the madness of us sweating well over a gallon of sweat a day that my dryer broke!!!??!!

Well, yes, it did. It burnt up because it's 25 years old. WHat a pickle. I need to wash clothes when these all smell like a pig pooed in them from excessive sweat and nastiness. Not to mention I have to wash my sheets every other day to prevent creatures or mold growing in them from all the humidity and open windows.

So when it came down to it, a dryer was cheaper than a new A/C. We have a drier... no A/C. I am very relived to be able to do laundry again. WE did go to the laundromat. We have to spend about $3.50 a load. Ummm, yea, can we say, "Rip off?" It was cool a few days ago, but it feels hotter recently. I hope that this can hold out just another two weeks. That's when we'll be able to afford another A/C.

Oh, well my external fan is keeping my baby cool, but I might have to start limiting my use to the night time.

libraofthestars @ 2006-07-08T23:08:00

2006-07-09T03:09:38Z

Fuck me freddy! I looked in the mirror today and realized I am hot!

Btw, I applying for Cosmo Girl of the Year scholarship.... um, I don't knwo what I got going for me.

My butt =(

2006-07-08T16:57:43Z

So, I'm going to the beach soonish, and I'm paler than a... whatever. I'm pale. I won't wear shorts unless I'm goldcrisp. (*Has a sudden remembering of a story she wrote in 11th grade about a suicidle boy and a tan nurse he called 'Goldengrahams.'*) Anyhow, so because I am cheap, I've been bouncing from tanning salon to tanning salon using their free promotions! A free week there, and a free week here... it adds up fast. Anyhow, I noticed that I had a little white spot on my bottom. I got lots of junk in my trunk so I guess I gotta do some poking and such to get that tan. So after a week of tanning I found this white spot that probably hasn't seen any sun since.... well.... never. I'm up to 20mins in the booth so I figured, "Hey, itll catch up to the rest of me."
So I get in and make sure that my little white spot is exposed to the UV rays. After about 5 minutes my bottom feels really hot. 15 minutes if feels like a spark fell on it. And when my 20minutes was up, that spark turned into a damn forest fire. My butt was buuuuuuuuurning!!!
I have the worst burn on my bottom right now, and it is killing me!!! I know this is certainly TMI buuuutt(no pun intended) it really hurts. I just feel weird slathering down my pants with aloe, but I got to do. And how can I explain myself to everyone? "Hey, I'm a fatty so my butt cheaks squish together when I lay on my back so I got a white spot?" I don't think so. The worst part of this whole ordeal is... the white spot is still there. Only its a tan spot... but not as tan as the rest of my keester! -_- *sigh* I never win.

libraofthestars @ 2006-07-08T00:51:00

2006-07-08T04:51:15Z

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now. (My fiancee is sitting behind me, and I already miss looking into his eyes.)	✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (TV is gay)	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana. (Oh, highschool curiousity)
✓ I've watched porn movies. (Who hasn;t? Jenna Jameson is fucking sexy!)	✓ I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. (So sorry Chris)	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone's bones.	✓ I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	× I need/want money right now.
✓ I love sushi.	✓ I talk really, really fast.	✓ I have fresh breath in the morning.
✓ I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	× I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	✓ I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. (ALL THE FUCKING TIME BABY! I love extensions!)	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
× I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
✓ I have a lot of mood swings.	✓ I think prostitution should be legalized. (Just to put some standards on it. It would protect many people.)	× I slept with a roommate.
✓ I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	× I have a lot of friends.
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex.	✓ I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
× I love to shop and/or window shop.	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
× I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	✓ I want to have children in the future.
✓ I have changed a diaper before.	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything.
✓ I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	✓ I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I enjoy some country music. (Um... can we say Johnny Cash?)
× I would die for my best friends.	✓ I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	✓ I have dated a close friend's ex.	× I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	× Democrat.	× Republican.
✓ I don't even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish.	× I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
✓ I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	✓ I can work on a car.
✓ I love my job(s).	× I am comfortable with who I am right now.	✓ I have more than just my ears pierced. (Yes... even that. ;))
✓ I walk barefoot wherever I can.	✓ I have jumped off a bridge.	✓ I love sea turtles.
✓ I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
✓ I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
× I fall for the worst people.	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
✓ I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	× I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can't whistle.
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse. (I've even cleaned a horse's sheath)	✓ I still have every journal I've ever written in. (Except the one detailing my masochistic tendencies that I needed for a law suit against STS.)	✓ I talk in my sleep.
✓ I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	✓ I wear a toe ring.
✓ I have a tattoo. (Two. My libra tattoo and a feather.)	× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	× I am a caffeine junkie.
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	✓ If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
✓ I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	✓ I'm an artist.	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	✓ I have terrible teeth. (They look really nice.... but I had to have a lot of work done on them)
× I hate my toes.	× I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	✓ I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
✓ I have lived in either three different states or countries.	✓ I am extremely flexible.	✓ I love hugs more than kisses.
✓ I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	✓ I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons. (My daddy first taught me how to shoot at the age of 2. No joke. I hit the target first try. So surriously... don't fuck with me.)
× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	× I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	× I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
× I have played strip poker with someone else before.	✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help. (Hey, what can I say, I tried killing myself 42 times and counting.)	× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
✓ I can't stand being alone.	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	✓ I'm a judgmental asshole.	× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	✓ I can speak more than one language.	× I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
✓ I would rather read than watch TV.	× I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
× I have no piercings.	✓ I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	× I like most animals better than most people.
✓ I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	✓ I have hit someone with a dead fish. (Haha, my mom called out my name... and I turned around into a fin. I snatched that damn fish and smacked her in the head.)
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	✓ I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	× I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	✓ I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.	✓ Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair. (But unfortunantly I don't own any except a dread wig I made for shows)	× I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	✓ Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed. (Most of the time.... but sometimes.... some rare occaisions I actually feel sorry.)	✓ I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
✓ I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.	× I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	✓ I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
× I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	× I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	✓ I have a custom-built computer.	× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	✓ I've performed in three plays.
✓ I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	✓ Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
✓ I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	× I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	× I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	× Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	✓ I can only hate someone that I love.	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.